My New Normal

My New Normal? - September 15, 2022

I prefer that my blogs are on the lighter side with a few jokes and belly laughs. But at the time of this writing laughter isn’t in me. From masks to lock down. Who thought that we would have experienced what we did on the long weekend in September? I’m thinking it was probably the hottest long September weekend on record. This was one of the first weekends this summer that I was alone in my home. The grown children were away or working as well as the husband. Harvest has begun and so the late nights start, and I typically only see him in the morning before I leave for work. I am sound asleep by the time he comes home from the field.

My Saturday was spent mowing grass, dead heading flowers (tired of that) and picking cucumbers. I enjoyed an evening glass of wine on the veranda and retired early.

Upon waking I checked my phone only to see an Emergency Alert. I quickly read it and didn’t think too much about it, put on a pot of coffee and got ready for the day. By 10:30 or so that morning the calmness I usually feel enjoying the day had changed. The news coming out of James Smith Reserve was horrific and was only getting worse as the day went on. We now had a random killer(s) on the loose and unknown were their whereabouts. Nobody was safe. Be vigilant, get yourself to a secure location and stay locked down.

The world was changing once again. We were tired of the past two years of the pandemic – now a lockdown. For the first time in years my doors were locked during the daytime. I felt like a prisoner in my own home. I have locked my doors at night, but never during the daytime. Is this going to be my new normal?

I had to run to the city for some groceries to continue my canning I had planned that weekend. I didn’t even want to leave my dogs alone, so they went for a Sunday drive with me too. There was a large police presence everywhere that day. They were along the rural roads as well as the city and a road check as well. This was all positive in my opinion. The sooner they catch these criminal(s) the sooner life goes back to normal.

We returned to the farm safe and sound, locked the doors and started doing kitchen stuff. There would be no wandering around the farmyard today. I have two dogs who like to alert me of coming and goings around the yard. This is all very helpful but every time the dogs barked; I would jump, carefully check an exterior window to make sure it was just a cat or a fox catching their attention and not an unknown vehicle. I started carrying my cell phone everywhere I went in the house – just in case. I was going into self-survival mode. I was truly scared and worried. My mind had started thinking about things differently – being more scared than I can ever remember would do this.

Next on my survival list was where to hide if someone enters my yard and is an unknown stranger. I made a plan as to where I would hide and let my family know where to find me.

Things that had never bothered me before now did. A vehicle came into the yard that Sunday morning, and I immediately panicked. Fortunately, I recognized it quickly and my heart quit racing. I was afraid to take my dogs for a walk. Afraid to go to the garden and pick cucumbers and tomatoes.

I need to learn to use a gun – something I used to know how to do but I haven’t touched a gun for years and years. Guess that might have to change. We started sleeping with the gun in our bedroom. How horrible is that? Nobody should have the right to make a person feel that scared in their own home. I should have bought a handgun while I could. I could probably figure out how to shoot a handgun without shooting myself at the same time. The thing is I don’t even like guns.

You worry about your children, your parents, your neighbors. Is everyone safe? By now it sounds like one person was responsible for the majority of this onslaught. Where is this renegade hiding? How did this villain manage to kill and injure so many people? I guess by striking at night and on unsuspecting people? Then I ask, why would someone destroy the village they live in? The heartbreak that one person has brought to so many people. How about his parents and grandparents? Some of these questions will never be answered.

Upon finishing writing this blog the good news came out about 15 minutes ago that Myles Sanderson has been captured near Rosthern and I have felt a big relief to my well-being. I can quit being so scared and feeling like a prisoner. I will probably continue to lock my doors for a long time – day and night. Shall I live in fear? No, but it makes me think about the craziness of the world and how our safe province of small Saskatchewan is not as safe as I once thought it was. “That won’t happen here, well folks it has.” This weekend shall be remembered for a very long time, but not for great reasons. For very sad and tragic reasons.

And I need to thank all of the police and emergency personnel who have helped solve this mystery over the last 4 days. They were all placed in a very unsafe environment. None or very little sleep and operating under a very high stressful situation. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and fellow Saskatchewan people.

In closing, thoughts, and prayers to all of the families and friends who were affected by this mass stabbing on a long weekend in September. There are many stories to be told of the heroes who protected others and lost their own life in doing so. These stories will be told over the many weeks to come. A heartbreak for James Smith Reserve and Weldon – one that they may never truly recover from.

I have two songs to leave you with today. The first one is by one of my all-time favourite singer / songwriters – Willie Nelson. Recorded in 2018 – Something You Get Through. He was a co-writer on the song with Buddy Cannon, his co-producer. As the words in the song say, “It’s not something you’ll get over, but it’s something you’ll get through.”

The second song is a favourite hymn type of song. It became very popular when George Jones passed away. Vince Gill was the original recording. However, the live version at George Jones’ funeral with Patty Loveless and other artists brings tears to my eyes every time. To the people whose lives were ended this past weekend “Go Rest High on That Mountain”.